Sunday, January 27, 2008

HoW cAn I BE so STUPID?!?!?!?

I recently asked myself this question. I hadn’t done so in a long time. I know that usually individuals can be much harder on themselves that any other person could ever hope to be.

But all of that momentarily slipped my mind. I trusted someone who purported to be a man of God and allowed him to opportunity to sponsor one of my charity events. I thought of him as a kind person who wanted to do something good in the community and let down my usual guards. I believed every excuse he gave about why he hadn’t sent the money for the sponsorship even after my organization had committed itself to other companies that were demanding payment. To make a long story short, he is nothing of what he said that he was. To be even more to the point – he is a con artist.

At first, I believed it was an isolated incident. That maybe the economy had been hard on him and his business and he was experiencing a monetary cash flow. Then out of the blue – I begin receiving a barrage of emails about other people he had conned.

That’s when I asked myself the dreaded question, “How could I have been so stupid?”

It was almost in the same instant that I had a moment of clarity. Taking responsibility for making a mistake is one thing – berating yourself for it, is something entirely different.

Think about it.

Do we yell at children when they fall down and bump their heads or bust their lips? No. Do we punch guest who break glasses or spill drinks? No. Do we lash out at plants that die or flowers that don’t bloom? No. Somehow we find compassion in our hearts to forgive and excuse the mishaps and errors of others. Yet we have little if any compassion for ourselves. For some reason, we tend to forge we are growing and learning, and that we will fall down and sometimes make a mess.

You may not always know what to do. It’s okay! You will not always be able to find the right words at the moment at the moment you need them. It’s okay. You may swear you won’t, then do it anyway. It really is okay! It’s okay if you do, or say, or forget to do or say the “right” thing at the “right” time. The challenge is to learn not to beat yourself up about it. Even better – pretend you’re five again, give yourself a big hug and whisper, “It’s okay!”

Because guess what .... it really is.

6 comments:

  1. Nan Diva11:25 AM

    Thank you so much for sharing this message, Nikki. Today, I am going to hug myself as if I were five again!

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  2. Oh wow!!! This certainly makes you think. I have been beating myself up a lot lately, but somehow I don't feel like my mistakes are ok. I suppose that is something I have to work on.

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  3. This is a timely, well-written post, Nikki. The experience with the con artist is unfortunate. Good for you for turning it into a teachable moment!

    I'm glad that you continue to do well. Happy New Year.

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  4. Nikki....Even though this was very unfortunate Just think of how many children we helped with that event... I am sure if you had a chance you would do it all over again just with no eye's shut!!!!!..You are blessed and will always be by the lives you touched on that day and many you will continue to touch years after.

    Love and Blessing..... I am so glad I didn't buy that con's products......

    Loveya! T

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  5. Hey Nikki, your blog was well written with a great message of encouragement to those who may have been in similiar situation or people who generally beat up on themselves or unforgiving, when a mistake a made. However, I must say even though people may forgive themselves for mistakes made, the pain lingers and it takes time for healing. We all have to be mindful of wolves in sheeps clothing. Yes, I am a victim of a con artist, who claimed to be a child of God and everything he wasn't. I laid my guards down and was robbed out of thousands. This was a lesson learnt. A lesson that cost me thousands of dollars. I pray that you pray for me as I pray for you and as we encourage each other. Stay strong. Be Bless

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  6. Anonymous10:11 AM

    THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY, I DO AT TIMES FIND MYSELF DOING THE SAME THING, BUT AFTER READING YOUR STORY IT HAS GIVEN ME A NEW OUTLOOK ON OVER COMMING MY MISTAKES AND HANDLING A FEW REGRETS LOL AND ALSO AT THE END OF THE DAY, LOOKING IN THE MIRROR AND SAYING ITS GOING TO BE OK

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