Friday, December 04, 2009

The Other Ms. Woods

So, the Tiger Woods saga continues.

I tried really hard to stay out of it. Well, maybe I didn’t try all that hard. But it really is like kicking a two-legged kitten when he’s down.

But now Tiger Woods is rumored to have offered his wife millions of dollars to stay in their marriage. If he was so interested in staying married, then maybe he should have kept his putter at home.

And needless to say, Mrs. Woods (Not me; I'm Ms. Woods!) was not happy.

I don't know which came first: A wife actually bopping her husband in the head with a frying pan or the depiction of a man getting bopped by his wife in a comedy sketch. Whether life was imitating art or vice versa, most of us chuckle at the idea of a disgruntled wife handling her business with a skillet.

So the idea of Tiger's pissed-off wife getting in a few good ones with a golf club will probably provide years of material for comedians, and radio and TV hosts. I admit, it tickled me too. But God always finds a way to straighten me out.

Earlier this week, at the same time I was enjoying the idea of Mrs. Tiger Woods chasing her man with a nine iron, my six-year-old was in a match with the edge of a shelf in his closet, and the shelf won. The gash in his head required staples, and as I watched him endure that pain, I thought of Tiger being hit in the face with a metal golf club. And it wasn't that funny. Then I wondered how I would feel if 10 or 20 years down the road, a woman - any woman - took out her anger on my son with a golf club, a baseball bat or even a frying pan, whether he deserved it or not. And that REALLY wasn't funny.

Virtually all sociological data shows women initiate domestic violence as often as men, that women use weapons more than men, and that 38 percent of injured victims are men.

So why don’t we hear more about this? Shouldn’t the media give as much attention to men who suffer abuse at the hands of their mate as they do women?

I was blessed to grow up in a home where my parents were (and are to this day) openly affectionate and always showed mutual respect for each other. Resorting to violence has never been a viable option for me, and I doubt that it will be one for my sons, who have learned from their father and me that hitting girls and women is not acceptable.

But who knows what the girls and women they choose in the future will have learned from their environments? Going upside my sons' heads may come as naturally to them as breathing. I don't have daughters, but I hope those of you who do will teach them that getting hit by men is unacceptable, but hitting men is unacceptable as well.

If Tiger's wife really beat him with a golf club we should be as outraged as we were when we heard about Chris Brown and so should the news media.

I've been mad enough at men at various times in my life to strike a man, but I don’t for a lot of reasons. Aside from it being wrong, I’m smart enough to know that usually when you hit a person, they’re inclined to hit you back out of retaliation or reflex. No plans to go down that road.

Sometimes the lessons you learn when you’re in kindergarten hold up. I was taught to just walk away until the waters are calmer, and I suggest you follow that rule and teach it to your children. Better to have that conversation with them now. And trust me, if they’ve seen you hit your man or get hit by him, cuss him out or get cussed out by him or just say hurtful things in the heat of anger, you’re teaching them way more than you know. Plus, you're creating potential problems for your grown daughters - and my sons if they run into them.

Everyone, of course, doesn’t agree with my “just walk away” policy. If you don’t, is it because of what you were taught? Or do you just believe the only retaliation for some transgressions is a behind-whipping?

I really want to know what you think, so hit me back. And, uh, that’s just a figure of speech!

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous10:14 AM

    Glad to see you back, blogging on blogspot!