Monday, March 25, 2013

Sit Back and Enjoy the Ride? What Teens Should Know About Adult Sexual Enticement

I see it and hear it every time a story comes out about a teenage boy being linked sexually with a female teacher: the snickering and even feigned jealousy of grown men who claim they wish they could have been as lucky when they were back in school.

Some even wonder why young boys don’t keep their mouths shut and just enjoy the ride. No pun intended. It’s such a double standard. No one in his or her right mind would ever find anything amusing, intriguing or sexy about a 30-year-old man having sex with a 14 or 15-year-old girl, but for some reason it’s assumed that when it happens to a boy, he’s living out his fantasy.

The most recent headline: Former NFL cheerleader, 42, charged after offering sex to 12-year-old boy at parents’ party in Tennessee. We know some boys dream about their teachers, their babysitters, in some cases, their friend’s moms and of course NFL cheerleaders. But dreaming about it is one thing, actually living it out is something different.

 I’ve taught my sons from an early age what inappropriate behaviors to watch for. What I haven’t taught them yet is how to ward off sexual enticement from people they should trust, like their schoolteachers. Because I’m a woman, it’s not an easy lesson to teach. I can only imagine the confused emotions that come into play when you are physically aroused by someone but completely aware mentally that those feelings are wrong. It will take a real man to explain to them how to keep these urges in check. But based on the reactions I’ve heard, how many men can I trust to give sound advice? How can I be sure that they won’t inadvertently send the message that a teenage sexual encounter with a female adult is some sort of rite of passage? I mean, I’ve heard about men who have actually taken their teenage sons to prostitutes and strip clubs.

So, let me put it this way. If you’re a guy who would be repulsed at the idea of your young son, little brother or nephew being molested by a male adult, you should be just as repulsed about a grown woman taking advantage of a boy. Sexual relations between adults and teens are wrong … period. And research proves they cause psychological damage.

We’ll declare this a judgment and giggle-free zone so if you’re a man or know one who was messed up by an older woman. Let me hear from you.

If we don’t start protecting our kids, the cycle of sexual dysfunction and lack of real intimacy will continue. Not a good look.

Between the internet, cable TV, and explicit song lyrics our children will be over sexed and over stimulated long before they’re mature enough to handle what they’ve been exposed to. Whether you have boys or girls, they’re going to meet up at some point with unhealthy attitudes about what’s expected of either.

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