Friday, January 12, 2007

I thought I would try something different ... literally and figuratively!

So often in romantic relationships we focus on the actual relationship and neglect the less talked actual relations! I'm guilty of that ... figuring if it ain't broke then don't fix it ... but have you ever thought about upgrading it? And yes, by IT - I mean sex. I'm not ashamed to admit that somewhere in my sexual journey I asked myself, "Is this it?" Growing up reading romances, I knew deep inside that there had to be more. Unfortunately, it just hadn't manifested itself yet and I certainly didn't know where to look for it. I had no idea that my sexual pleasure was way too important to leave up to chance or to entrust to my spouse or partner. I didn't know that my sexual happiness was in my hands.

Now, don't get nervous, I didn't mean that literally. Um .... not that there's anything wrong with that. :)

BUT ... what I mean is that sometimes, we as women are way too content to be passive partners in the bedroom. So I went on a search ... a journey ... to find my inner "ho" - and I mean "ho" in the most positive sense of the word. Amazing how gaining some sexual confidence can change your outlook on life. It also helps to have a partner that you can trust, one that encourages you to explore and enjoy just as much as he does. (wink)

Below is an article that I discovered in my travels .... Happy Reading!


Almost all men watch some porno, but almost no men wants to be dating a porno girl on a day-to-day basis. EXCEPT ... when you're in the bedroom ... and then he'd LOVE to see you channel the hidden porno superstar who's lurking somewhere DEEP inside of you.

So today from Brenda Della Casa, the author of the book "Cinderella Was a Liar", I bring you nine things "good girls" can learn from porno-girls. Enjoy!

#1. SHOW SOME ENTHUSIASM. In the world of porno, women are RANDY all the time ... just like men ... and they want relations constantly. So, instead of having him always initiate things ... take control and DEMAND sex NOW. He'll gladly concede.

#2. SAY SOMETHING. Porno-girls talk dirty ... REALLY dirty ... and that can be a HUGE turn-on when you do it in real life. So, suck up your embarrassment ... and try talking dirty, from fore-play through the end of the relations.

#3. USE YOUR THIGHS. "Good girls" can be embarrassed of their thighs. But men love them ... and love how the women in porno wrap their thighs around a guy. If you're really worried about how your legs will look, use candles for a soft flattering light.

#4. GET IN TOUCH WITH YOURSELF. There's not a single man alive who would be turned off by seeing his woman doing some touchy-selfy in front of him. Whether it's before or during relations, don't be embarrassed ... and go for it in front of him.

#5. DRESS CREATIVELY. Switch up how you dress ... so it's a different experience every time he undresses you. Sometimes the porno-girls wear business suits; sometimes a dress ... sans panties; sometimes leather; whatever. Men are visual and they like surprises ... switching up what you wear fulfills BOTH of those fantasies.

#6. TRY NEW THINGS WITH HIS BODY. By this point, you've probably figured out what works for your guy .... so you do it over and over and over. Women in porno don't just stick to the basics ... they explore a guys WHOLE body. Try some light biting or using your nails ... and when you're messing around below his waist, don't just focus on WILLY ... play around with "his neighbors".

#7. DRESS YOURSELF UP. Yes, during relations, your hair is gonna get messed up. So's your makeup. But ... porno-girls always go into their scenes with their hair done and their makeup perfect ... and they don't care what happens. Try doing that yourself ... doing your hair, your makeup, your nails ... it'll make you feel sexier and more confident.

#8. DON'T DO FAVORS. Don't make fell-ah-chio into a gift ... or only try new positions after he take you out for a nice dinner. The porno-gals do hings they know their partner will like ... and then, they ask for what THEY want in return.

#9. DON'T DO ANYTHING THAT REALLY MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. Just because you're trying to channel the porno-ho inside of you ... it doesn't mean you have to do ALL the stuff they do. That means ... if you don't want him to "have his way with your heiny", don't let him. If you're not into letting him "shower you with his love," then don't agree to that. The main thing you're trying to embrace is SEXUAL CONFIDENCE ... and that includes the power to say NO.

Holla Back!

To read Brenda Della Casa's article in its entirety, click here.


  1. mmm..wish my friend was closer.

  2. What a great post. A friend of mine and I were just chatting about taking one of those pole dancing classes. ;)

  3. Being a guy. I think that you hit the nail on the coffin. Guys do look for things different on the outside and love to explore those especially when the one they really love doesn't want to. If you woman enough to be with him then you should be woman enough to please him and enjoy the relations yourself.....

  4. Well you go gurl with your inner ho self lol. One thing I'm learning to do is be my own ho, there's nothing wrong with that. Great great great POST!

  5. PS,
    I had to change my blog url by creating a new blog. For some reason Blogspot wouldn't allow me access to Phases of Writing. (crying)

  6. Holla Holla!

    That was a great post!

    Got my blood rushing to places unknown to many. It's true, if a woman finds her inner ho, she got it going on in the bedroom with or without her man. But having that man there make the pleasure all to enjoyable.

    # 1, 2, 3, and 4 are TOPS! Especially #2 can get a man cumming before he screams out your name. Saying something dirty would often send one right over the edge while having those thighs wrapped around tight. Take it from one who knows, whew!

  7. ©poetic`MC12:04 PM

    Whoohooo, I love this article and I love the woman who's seeking her inner "ho"!It's so much fun when we're discovering it together.

  8. That's the truth. Finding the inner ho is important for so many women. I find picking up a copy of "Neurotica: An honest examination into urban sexual relations" to be helpful for many.

  9. Great entry Ms. Woods! Wanna make the dialog real interesting? I wonder how many men are really ready for such an exploration? Fellas talk a great game, but most women know that the double standard often comes into play. Many men really can't handle wifey being superfreak. Girlfriend? Perhaps. Girl on the side? Definitely. But wifey? The survey says... M-E-L-T-D-O-W-N!

    I laugh at the thought just as I do with fellas fascination with girl on girl sex. Yeah right, til the 'lil ego" gets threatened.

    Just my take.