Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Truly Stranger Than Fiction

Everyday for work – I read a TON of useless information. In ADDITION to the five papers that I peruse every morning I also kill approximately three trees worth of paper otherwise known as Show Prep in order to sound half way knowledgeable about what’s going on in the world. This morning, I ran across three articles that I just had to share.

First up, did you know there’s an island in African where women decide whom they’re going to marry AND men can’t say no!

Yep! You read right. This nugget of information comes from the Seattle Times. The name of the island is Orango, and it’s about 40 miles off the coast of Guinea-Bissau in western Africa, with a population around 2,000. And apparently it’s the ONLY place in the world that has this particular custom.

There are three simple rules:

On Orango, WOMEN decide who they're going to marry.
Men are NOT ALLOWED to propose.
And if a woman decides to marry you, you CAN'T turn her down.

For example: One day, a guy will just be sitting there (maybe playing video games), when he hears a knock on the door of his hut. He opens it, and sees a woman standing there with a STEAMING PLATE OF FISH – and that’s not a sexual metaphor, by the way.

And that's her marriage proposal, no words, no getting down on a knee - just a plate of fish. The guy accepts by eating the fish. If he refuses, it brings huge shame on his family.

They actually tracked down 65-year-old Jose Nananghe who lives on Orango and he reported that when he was 14, his future wife approached him with her plate of fish. He says, quote, "I had no feelings for her. Then when I ate the meal, it was like lightning. I only wanted her."

As for women getting all the power in spouse selection, he says it makes sense. . . quote, "Love comes first into the heart of the woman. Once it's in the woman, only then can it jump to the man. The choice of a woman is much more stable."

Catfish anyone?

Next up from Reuters in the U.K. and even I say this one SOUNDS too ridiculous to be true. . . but it comes from a good source, so I've got no reason NOT to believe it. Apparently, Hari's beauty salon in London is offering a new treatment that, they say, gives hair the, quote, "ultimate shine."

During the treatment, they spend 45 minutes massaging BULL SPERMATOZOA into your hair. And, when it's all done, they charge you $110.

Hari Salem, who owns the salon, says he's tried hundreds of products, from avocado to truffle oil, to try to find the one that provides a perfect shine. . . but nothing's worked like bull seed. He gets it from bulls on a farm in Cheshire, in northwest England.

Quote, "I've been searching for an organic product with a lot of protein because that's what hair lacks when it's dry. And this really works. It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick. The product is refrigerated before use so it doesn't smell."

And that ain’t no bull!

And finally from the Worst Case Scenario Handbook in the Work section, dating a person who works in your same office can be exciting, no doubt. . . but it can also mess up your career and sometimes having one can even get you FIRED. So, if you’ve had your eye on the hottie co-worker who’s cubicle is across the way from yours – suck down these seven tips to help you keep your office relationship a secret.

7. RESIST PHYSICAL CONTACT AT THE OFFICE. You're dating someone. . . and it's natural for you to want to get up on them all the time. . . but DON'T. Kissing, holding hands or even casual touching can get some people curious. Even if you think you're alone with them someplace in the office keep your hands to yourself. Save it until you're at home where you can be SURE that you're alone with them.

6. SEND GIFTS TO THEIR HOUSE. It may be a special occasion like Valentine's Day or their birthday but don't give flowers, candy, clothing or any other personal items to them at work.

5. DON'T USE COMPANY E-MAIL TO SEND PERSONAL NOTES. We've all heard about how The Man is constantly surveying our e-mails at work. . . so if you send some sexy message to whomever you're dating at the office. . . your boss may see it. Don't risk it.

4. AVOID LONG OR EXCESSIVE LUNCH DATES. It's natural for colleagues to go out and eat the occasional lunch together. But when you do it repeatedly with the SAME person it may attract some notice. Try to keep the same lunch routine you had BEFORE you started dating your coworker.

3. AVOID GOING TO AND LEAVING WORK TOGETHER. Unless you're carpooling with other coworkers try to avoid showing up to work and leaving together.

2. USE DISCRETION. Your company is bound to have parties and get-togethers. Try as much as you can to avoid openly displaying affection, dancing with each other OR drinking excessively which can bring all these things to the surface.

And the number one tip on how to keep your office relationship a secret is ….. (DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

1. DON'T TELL YOUR COLLEAGUES. This is KEY. The less people know, the better.

Ya THINK?!?!?!?!?!

Happy Wednesday!

5 comments:

  1. Okay, Nikki. I couldn't help but to say somethig about the Bull-sperm that's used to shimmer women's hair. I have two questions; first, I wonder how they actually get the sperm from the bull, and if that process is proven to work every time would it work for men who are slackers in the bedroom?

    And secondly, for the salon owner: Hari Salem, who had been looking for an "organic" substance that's high in protein; could he have meant an "orgasmic?" substance?

    I'm just sayin'

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  2. Anonymous9:24 AM

    Ewww. Bull sperm. Yuck. $110 dollars. It would be cheaper to excote the bull and bring in your own product. Why bull? Don't human males have protein.

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  3. And whatsoever you do... don't let that woman be an astronaut!!

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  4. Ok. I need to get down to that island or get girlfriend's recipe.

    Great post.

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  5. I learn alot when I read the paper- both useful and useless information! That Orango tradition is interesting. I learned something new today. I don't think I'd like that custome in the US. I like to be pursued.

    And...I would never use Bull's sperm in my hair!! That's just too gross for me! =)

    Office affairs are out of the question!!!!

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