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The Changing Seasons - Haiku

This week's Haiku prompt presented by đpoetic1© is based upon "the changing seasons." It's fairly simple, according to dpoetic1 (but then his name is đpoetic1© and mine is not) simply think about your favorite to least favorite season and write your Haiku or Poetry. Pictures are encouraged. I did write a selection for last week's prompt but didn't submit it ... this week I didn't have a choice to sit this one out. I was given a directive! :)

So here is my Haiku ......

Crisp white melting past
Winter drips slips into spring
New green budding hope

Log onto to đpoetic1©'s blog to read the rest of the poetic offerings and learn more about the art of Haiku.

Gratitude List

Thanks to That Boy Johnson for reminding us all that it's the little things in life that make being in this world so very sweet.

So today's gratitude list is about those little things that make me smile and appreciate everything that makes my world such a wonderful place to be.

I am grateful for ........

water. I will always live around it. There is nothing more calming that watching the rising or setting of the sun reflected in a rippling pond or lake. It never fails to calm, connect and center me.

a good book. Words amaze me. Writers that can use those words to form the perfect escape for a Sunday afternoon astound me. In that same vain - I appreciate poetry more than ever. I never saw it as a way to communicate or express one's deepest feelings but I've been thoroughly schooled (SMH). Now I have my very own collection of Love Poems carefully saved in my journal. Just thinking about them keeps the biggest smile on my face.

friends who like toss my own words in my face when I'm having a moment. Thanks for the wake-up call Fee.

self-confidence. I am glad that I am at a point in my life where I am comfortable with who I am and don't have to struggle to try and please others by being something I'm not.

a good pen. I'm addicted to pens - love the way a good one writes on the paper.

kisses. I adore kisses - of all kinds! I start my day with sleepy kisses and end it the same way - grabbing as many in between as I can. Glad I have people in my life that cooperate. :) Life is good.

GRATITUDE LIST

It's a rainy day in Chicago, has been for the past two days, dark and dreary as if the heavens were crying for us mere mortals - struggling - just trying to survive each and every day.

It's on days like this that gratitude lists are so important to me. It refocuses my energy on positive things. Despite the challenges that I have faced, rough spots I've hit and negativity that swirls constantly - I am blessed. If I died today, it would be ok because I have truly experienced all the goodness that this life has to offer. And if for nothing else, for that I am grateful.

I am also grateful for ....

family! More specifically a mother who still talks to me in the middle of the night no matter how tired she is, a father who still remains my rock regardless of how far my world spins out of control (thanks for the reality check), a sister who is always ready to get down and dirty for a good cause AND my children who never fail to have a hug and some SUGAH for dey mama - sometimes a hug and kiss is all it takes to make everything right again.

childhood memories. It takes talking about them to remember how innocent growing up can really be. I was talking to someone about my mother's father the other day and it left me with a delicious feeling. I've had some wonderful male figures in my life.

a job that never fails to entertain me. Everything in life has it downsides and no doubt so does my gig BUT it has been a HUGE learning experience. I have grown and become a better person because of it. I am more tolerant of others and myself. I know how to push myself but also except my limitation. I also learned how to let go and let GOD. I've found that you don't have to agree to get a long and not every one is going to like you. But if you do your best, then that is enough.

a great pair of jeans. Nothing feels better at 3:30 in the morning on a rainy day in Chicago than my broken in pair of Levis and a cute sweater when all I want to do is stay in bed and snuggle.

my new ZUNE. I uploaded all of my fav videos that I've taken of my kids (neices and nephews included). I watched this one just a few minutes ago. Can't help but smile. Next I'll post one of my three year old bowling. HIL-A-RI-OUS!



bubble baths. I took one at 12:30 this morning because I couldn't sleep. Nothing relaxes me more than a few bubbles, a lot of heat, jets on high and a good book. I stayed in there until it was almost time for me to go to work. I think I make a pretty cute prune!

health insurance. DAMN! Do you know how much it costs to get some tests done these days?!?!?! My heart goes out to those who struggle with adequate health care /insurance for their families.

my creative mind power. I truly understand that everything starts inside of me and that I only have to change my thoughts to change my circumstances.

love. I've had a lot of it. And continue to be overwhelmed by it's generous nature. That's why Corinthians 13:4 is one of my favorite verses.

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant.

Wouldn't the world be a different place if people truly believed and practiced this?

There are a TON of other things that I could list but these are the ones that are sitting at the top of my list for today.

As always, I offer you my best ~ and for that I am also grateful! I'll be taking a bit of a break to finish up some projects. Be blessed!

2 POETIC OFFERINGS

*INSIDE* by Me

So many people today
don't stop to see the
beauty on the inside of a person
they only see what is
on the outside
they judge, point, stare
but the outside is just the
beginning
the best part of someone is hidden from
the eyes of those who refuse to see
all that is inside is really what counts
the big heart
the kind gestures
the sweetness of my life
your smile is not only
on the outside but ...
in the inside as well
the beauty of you can not be put into words
it's not a handsome face, sexy arms or strong legs
even though you have that and more
the beauty of you can not be put into words because
there are none to describe
the true essence that beats inside
and nothing is more beautiful
then being held close
held tight
inside of your beautiful heart

*REVIVAL* by Bianca Mitchell

Impassioned by a passionate plea
The very strong desire to Flee
To remove the safety net and cross over
Walk the tight rope spread taught over Sky Scrapers
Not looking down or having fear but looking up
Take the dare and like the Army be all you can be
Or better yet like Nike, Just do it! Just do it! Just do it!
Aspire to the higher highs after living in the lows
Rolling with average Joes who don’t want to see me to see me soar, Fly, touch the sky
Sweating out the scent of failure through my pores
Washing off the grime of regrets
Letting the hot water melt the ice of fear that leaves me immobile
Toweling off the remnants of negative thoughts
Dressing for success and walking away from the closed door
Attach my cape and leap bravely through opportunity’s open window.

March Is Colon Cancer Awareness Month

Colon cancer claims a third rank in the list of most common cancers diagnosed in the United States (skin cancer excluded). American cancer society estimate that this year a total of 106,370 people will be diagnosed with new colon cancer with more women (55,970) having a new diagnosis of colon cancer in comparison to men (50,400).

Factor in all of the other types of cancer and the numbers practically quadrouple.

So more than likely during your life time you will either have a personal experience with cancer or know someone that has.

If you have already been there then you know that Cancer can be a very invasive diseaese]but it does not define who you are. It CAN however be a defining chapter in your life. As a friend, family member or loved one of someone diagnosed as cancer, the same rule applies. Articles have been written, statistics compiled and support groups formed but when going through such a traumatic experience – for all parties involved – it can sometimes be a very lonely journey.

I am by no means an expert, but there are a few things that I can offer to others who may be in the situation of supporting someone faced with a life threatening medical condition.

Listen, Learn And Talk!

Keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes all your loved one wants to do is articulate how he or she is feeling. Actively listen and be understanding of the various moods and myriad of emotions your loved one may be experiencing.

Be proactive and educate yourself because education is key to dispelling myths surrounding cancer. It also helps if your loved one want to discuss various treatments and/or options if you have some understanding of what they are dealing with medicallly.

Talk about your frustrations and possible feelings of helplessness. As much as you would like, you are not going to be able to take away the cancer or the pain from it. Just as your loved one is not going to able to take away your feelings of helplessness. But by talking about it, the opportunity is there to support each other as you work through your individual feelings.

Laugh A LOT

It’s hard to feel bad when laughing. It’s hard to feel self-pity when giggling uncontrollably at a funny movie. It’s hard to be depressed when your sides ache from being tickled. Humor is proven to be healing to the mind, body and spirit.

Continue To See Your Loved One As WHOLE and HEALTHY!

This is very important, especially in an intimate, love relationship. Some people begin to define themselves by their disease instead of seeing the person that you are so desperately in love with. They may want to pull away, and “spare” you from seeing them at less than their best. Reassure them that they are the same person that they were before the diagnosis and that everyone has their own issues and challenges. This just happens to be theirs. At the same time, give them the space they need to work through their own issues and negative feelings. In addition, healing starts in the mind. Not reducing yourself or a loved one to simply a disease can go a long way to overall healing.

Say “I LOVE YOU” Often!

Your loved one needs and wants to hear from you. Actions may speak louder than words, and you may take all the right actions, but speaking words brings comfort, reassurance and knowledge of your inner feelings. Words have meaning. And the three most important words in the English language at this time, at this moment, are: "I love you."

Last but not least, be patient with your loved one but also be patient with yourself. Somedays the journey will be harder than others but .... it will always be worth it.

As always, I offer you my best.

My Sistahs .... Can We Talk?

I don't often post emails that I receive but I thought the following two had some merit and/or made me laugh.

The first is as follows:



1. Talking about each other - You are really not her friend if what you have to say about her is so bad you can't say it in front of her. If you are a real friend you should be able to tell her your concerns for her life to her face. If you have the need to tell others, but you haven't found the time to tell her - red lights should be flashing. Believe it or not, gossiping is not an intrinsic part of being female. Women who gossip do it not because it's a woman-thing, but because they want to elevate themselves and put other women in a place of inferiority. Gossiping is just another symptom of deeper insecurities.

2. Fighting for men - One of the most undignified things that any woman can do is to fight, argue, or curse another woman over a man. It's a disgusting trend that used to be a school girl thing, but today adult women are doing it too. If both of you are in conflict - because his choice is not clear - then that means that he's really not into any of you. He's probably playing both of you. That man really does not deserve love or attention from either one of you. Let him go.

3. Joining female gangs - Women who make you feel unwelcome and unwanted within their circle of friends are not to be trusted. Women cliques have become common in the workplace, at church, in the neighborhood. Cliques are the dwelling place of insecure women. Women who join cliques are
seeking refuge from their own lack of confidence by cocooning themselves within this circle of supposed exclusivity. Again, the need to belong to, or be part of a clique is also a sign of deeper insecurities. Beware, cliques are usually encouraged and thrive on a type of gang mentality.

4. Undermining each other - Beware of any woman who can never celebrate your accomplishments with you. It could be a new boyfriend, a promotion, an award, a new job, a new acquisition, weight loss. If she has nothing positive to say to you about it, does not show emotional support, or chooses to remain silent she is not a true friend. Real friends know how to recognize and genuinely rejoice for our successes with pride.

5. Competing against each other - You need to get this straight. There will always be another woman with nicer hair, a more caring husband or boyfriend, better behaved children, a better paying job, a bigger house, a more fashionable wardrobe - there will always be some woman with more of what you don't have. Consequently, the only person that you need to compete against is yourself. Strive to be the best that you can be - for you. Competing against other women to prove yourself superior is a financial and emotional drainer. Because of this mindless competition we become mean, envious and hypocritical. It is pointless.

6. Disrespecting boundaries - To survive peacefully every relationship and every friendship must have clear boundaries. Good relationships operate within margins of respect. Within this level of respect, privacy and intimacy are keywords. Yes, you are my friend, but that doesn't give me the right to walk into your bedroom or your kitchen, unbeknownst to you, and help myself to your stuff. I don't do this not because you won't allow me to, but because I respect your privacy and your things. Consequently, we both need to know and respect each other's levels of privacy and intimacy.

7. Crossing boundaries - This is similar to the above, the only difference is that my respect of your boundaries should never depend on my friendship with you. We need to respect women for the simple fact that they are women. If she is a woman she is a sister. Period. Therefore, from that understanding I will have the utmost respect for her children, her man, her opinions, her choices, and for her as a person. It amazes me how women are quick to disrespect another sister's boundaries, but feel offended if another woman does to them the same exact thing. Honestly, that type of inconsistent behavior can only be credited to some form of mental illness.

8. Exploiting our friendships - This is a major one. Why are you friends? Do you only remember her being around whenever she could get something from you? It doesn't even have to be material. It could just be your time or your positive energy. Does she happen to be always on the receiving side, with you dishing out ton loads of yourself or your stuff? Or is she your friend because of what you represent? It could be that your husband's position or yours, your possessions, your talent, whatever, represents some form of achievement. Is she a friend because that link to you places her on a higher platform? In a real friendship appreciation, support, and loyalty must be reciprocal.

This is the second one (thanks Fee for the smile):

"True Friendship"

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold truth of our friendship.

1 When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

Friendship is like peeing your pants: everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth. And remember....when life hands you Lemons, get some tequila and salt and call me.

Just some things to think about!

Are you a CARROT, an EGG or a COFFEE BEAN?

Interesting question, huh? The answer is even more revealing but before we get to that. Let me back up.

I had an AMAZING day yesterday. Wasn't really looking forward to spending my entire Saturday working: I had some writing to finish, plus had four interviews scheduled for another edition of Women On The Go when what I most wanted to do was curl up in my grandmother's rocking chair and read a book or go outside and twirl under the sun while my boys ran off some of their abundant energy. THEN we would all take a nap. Talk about miracles!

But some days you do what you have to do. So with a (slight)smile on my face, a cup of coffee in one hand, laptop in the other and two of the cutest little boys I've ever seen trailing behind me ~ we went to work.

Things started off slow: my engineer was late so we couldn't officially start the interviews but I did find out from Chef Blackmon of Blu 47 fame how to keep my Crab Cakes from falling apart and my sistahgirl therapist Jinnie English brought an armful of positive energy AND controversial relationship theories. (believe me ... that is a blog unto itself.) I also learned the depth of my assistant Kim's patience as she successfully configured my computer for an Internet radio show I will be introducing shortly, coordinated and supplied me with the information I needed to conduct interviews while balancing my three-year-old on one leg and answering my five-year-olds never ending stream of questions without once raising her voice.

Meanwhile, I was ready to pull my hair out.

But then a blessing by the name of Niambi Jaha blew my way. She was slated to be interviewed for the Woman of the Month segment but as we got to talking AND talking AND talking, I realized she was my own piece of divine intervention. See Niambi is the founder of Project Butterfly - a phenomenal program designed to support young women and girls of African descent through the transitions of life. Like me, she is the mother of a young male child. AND like me, she has realized the her way of helping her young male child is to devote her life to nurturing young female children that may one day cross the path of her offspring. I formed The Nikki Woods LeadHerShip Academy with the same thought and passion; a dream that I am still waiting to birth has been fully realized in Niambi's Project Butterfly. So at the end of our interview when Niambi, took me by the hand and looked me straight in the eye and told me, "Young beautiful black woman, my sister .... I got you and I'm not letting go. WE have work to do", my heart bounced in my throat. It is what I had been waiting for, someone who understood and was ready to support my dream. Honestly, it's scary enough to traipse back through the dark recesses of your adolescent girl years but then to try and help someone else do the same without making all the mistakes you did is almost as frightening as watching Steven Spielberg's Pet Cemetery while home alone while a thunderstorm raging outside.

So yes, I have work to do ~ on myself and on my program. Stay tuned as the dream unfolds. I am going to post my conversation in its entirety soon but in the meantime check out this powerful woman on her website.

A three hour break was just enough time to feed my babies and then take them on a walk that led to downtown Chicago's Millennium Park. We watched people ice skating and laughed at the sculptures that Tyler, my oldest said he could make easily with his batch of Legos once we got home. We enjoyed the sun on our faces and the wind at our backs but most of all we enjoyed each other before it was time for all of us to get back to work.

Next up, was an unexpected coming together of universal forces under the guise of 10 minute interview. {{{{Big Hugs}}}}to Nancy Gilliam for working her magic and securing an interview with Lisa Nichols - a dynamic international motivational speaker and powerful advocate of personal empowerment - but most recently known for being recognized as one of the most prolific teachers of the Law Of Attraction. Her inclusion in the best selling phenomenon, "The Secret" was only the cap of more than 15 years worth of practicing and passing on the foundations of the Secret. After reading, watching and admiring Lisa since the release of "Chicken Soup for the African American Soul", I was scheduled to talk to her. From the very beginning, Lisa was warm and engaging. She talked freely about the path that led her to the comfy sofa on the Oprah Winfrey Show Stage - her triumphs and tribulations, her passion not only living an abundant life but helping others to live one as well.

I expected inspiration. I expected instruction. I expected an interview.

But what I got was MAGIC.

In fact, when I was telling my man about it later that afternoon, I giggled with excitement and said, "I want Lisa to be my new friend!" He laughed too. I knew I sounded like I was in the third grade but that is the kind of feeling she invoked during our conversation ~ one of warmth and friendship ~ exactly the kind of person you want in your immediate circle.

I will also post very soon my conversation with Lisa. I think it is one that every one who is struggling with discovering their authentic self should hear. Between Niambi and Lisa, there is no doubt that God was bringing some powerful threads together, intertwining them and weaving miracles.

But when you talk to someone who has struggled and not just survived but gone on to amazing heights of success - you can't help but be inspired and begin to expect miracles.

Sooooooo ... to bring me back to my original point: when thinking about the commonalities between Lisa, Niambi and all of the other powerful women that I have encountered along my journey the most dominant one was their ability to conquer challenges and become stronger because of them. I was reminded my a story that I read along time ago.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity—boiling water—but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside now I am bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. And as we know, the longer it boils the coffee will become stronger.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

So ask yourself: when the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level? How do you handle Adversity? Will you survive and triumph as did Niambi and Lisa or will you let life beat you down and keep you in a place of unhappiness and lack.

In short ~ are you a CARROT, an EGG, or a COFFEE BEAN?

WOMEN ON THE GO

A new edition of "WOMEN ON THE GO!" is now available.

This month we have lined up a group of excellent feature editors from across the country to give you advice and insight on relationships, health, cooking, finance as well as a very special woman of the month and more.

As your host, I will introduce you to several features and specialists, who can help you with everything from making the family dinner easier and healthier, to speaking with inspiring Women On The Go, just like yourself. This week's Women On The Go's Woman Of The Month is Dr. Laura Berman - creater and host of Showtime’s television series, “Sexual Healing,”!

In addition to the Word on Entertainment feature, check out our exclusive website feature (new this month) Women In Music. We are sure you will enjoy this artist spotlight as well as her music.

The audio magazine is available for download from our website or from a variety of pod cast sites, like iTunes, and ODEO.com.

Cruise by the website and we're on MySpace as well!

As always, thanks for your support!

Life is not always a smoothly paved-road

some times it's pretty damn rough - in disrepair - rocky from heartbreak. marked by potholes overflowing with disappointment, and often impassable from loss, grief and misunderstanding.

but even in the worst of times, I can still through my hands up and scream, "I'm STILL HERE!"

I can still offer my love - free from judgement, my faith - stronger in the midst of the storm and my hope - that remains unwavering, to those who may seem a little short of their own.

it is also the time when writing ushers in the tranquility of understanding that within the universe everything is as it should be.

perfect.

(during this last writing period - poetry was my weapon of choice. here are two haiku offerings)

life's fragility
dew on freshly cut grass
pain of a lover's heart

the storm simmers down
I still stand, hope, love, dream, smile
with arms wide open

It's a WEIGHTY issue!

This is the news story that grabbed my attention this morning:

Mother May Lose Custody of Obese Boy

Now this tasty tidbit (no pun intended) comes from London where authorities are considering taking an 8-year-old boy who weighs 218 pounds into protective custody unless his mother improves his diet.

Social service officials will meet with family members Tuesday to discuss the health of Connor McCreaddie, who weighs more than three times the average for his age.

The health agencies organizing the meeting said they "have been working with the family over a prolonged period of time and will continue to do so."

An unidentified health official was quoted as telling The Sunday Times that taking custody of Connor would be a last resort, but said the family had repeatedly failed to attend appointments with nurses, nutritionists and social workers.

The Times of London reported that the boy, Connor McCreaddie, has broken four beds and five bicycles. The boy's family is reportedly claiming to have a history of aversion to fruits and vegetables. (WTF?????)

"Child abuse is not just about hitting your children or sexually abusing them, it is also about neglect," the official was quoted as saying.

Dr. Colin Waine, the director of the National Obesity Forum in Nottingham, England, called Connor's lifestyle "extremely dangerous," adding he is at risk of developing diabetes in his early teens, and cardiovascular and nervous system problems in his 20s.

"He's really at risk of dying by the time he's 30," Waine said.

Dr. Michael Markiewicz, a pediatrician, agreed.

"I'm not saying they can't care for him, but what they are doing is through the way they are treating him and feeding him, they are slowly killing him," he said.

Connor's mother said he steals and hides food, frustrating her efforts to help him. He eats double or triple what a normal seven-year-old would have, she said.

"If I didn't give him enough at teatime then he would just go on at us all night for snacks and stuff," she told ITV.

Connor, who lives with his mother and sister, has difficulty dressing and washing himself, misses school regularly because of poor health, and is targeted by bullies.

Dr. Phil did a special not too long ago. It's pretty amazing how overweight these children have become in such a short amount of time.



My thoughts ..... I guess what really bothers me is the lack of parental control. I mean really - my kids don't like vegetables either (hell neither do I) BUT I have enough control in my own household and enough imagination that we get the situation worked out.

AND I don't care what a child begs for - if I say no snacks in the middle of the night - then there's no snacks in the middle of the night. Now this hasn't been an issue but when potty training we did have a few battles with not getting a bottle or sippy cup right before bed but as I said earlier - what I say goes in my house. Period.

After all, it's for their own good.

Now keep in mind that all this parental control is tempered with a LOT of love. I am head over heels in love with my children and don't want to run a boot camp unless I have to. I want them to learn to do the right thing because they know it's the right thing to do, NOT because they are scared of the consequences. It's also much easier to start teaching good habits when they are young then when they get older.

BUT with all of that said, I am not sure it is the right decision to take this child away from his mother. Therapy with the family might be an alternative or to send them to a nutritional center as a unit. Emotionally, I think separation might make things worse.

I'm interested to know what do you think? And when your done pontificating ... scroll down and take the poll.

NIKKI'S POLL OF THE WEEK

Do You Think The Boy Should Be Taken Into Custody?

Yes?
No?

View Results

QUALITIES OF A WEALTHY WOMAN

But before we get into that ........ can life get any better?

********** BIG SHOUT OUT TO JENNIFER HUDSON **********

Gotta give props where props are due. I am so very proud of Jennifer. She has grown so incredibly much in the time that I've known her ... which goes way back - even before Americah Idol. Her succeses speak volumes but what I most admired about Jennifer is her confidence. She is a true testament to what belief in self and belief in God can do. Even after having endured scathing critcism in front of the entire nation and still did not waiver in what she knew to be true .... that she was destined to be a star. Congratulations, J-Hudd ... you deserve it.

Switching topics .... slightly ... I was reading an article over the weekend and I thought I would share it with you. Even though author, Suze Orman is referring to the financial aspect of wealth, I think you will find these qualities common in women that are living a life of abundance.

Qualities 1 and 2: Harmony and Balance

Harmony and balance are perhaps the most important qualities of all, for they serve as the foundation for the remaining qualities. When your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions are not in harmony, it shows up as an imbalance -- you feel agitated, uncomfortable, you sense something is off, so you find it difficult to make rational, calm decisions. This is why these two qualities are a pair.

Quality 3: Courage

Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear or being deflected from a chosen course of action. Courage gives you the ability to speak your truth, even when it is not what others may want to hear.

Quality 4: Generosity

Generosity is a quality that most women can tap into very easily -- maybe too easily. As women, we tend to be overly generous with our time, support, love, and money -- but giving simply for the sake of giving does not match the definition of true generosity. You allow money to come in through your hands and out through your heart. To be empowered to give, to be moved to give straight from the heart, is a feeling that all the money in the world could never buy.

Quality 5: Happiness

When you find the courage to live your life in harmony and balance, when you understand and practice generosity in the truest sense, happiness spontaneously appears. When you are happy, you are open and accessible. When you are happy, you tend to be more optimistic. You approach new challenges with a clear mind that seeks positive solutions. You see possibilities rather than problems.

Quality 6: Wisdom

Exercising wisdom requires cutting through the noise of life and tapping into your core beliefs to make thoughtful decisions. Wisdom results from inhabiting all the qualities that came before it. A wise woman recognizes when her life is out of balance and summons the courage to act to correct it. A wise woman knows the meaning of true generosity. A wise woman knows happiness is the reward for a life lived in harmony, with courage and grace. A wise woman knows how to summon her courage and do what is right, rather than what is easy.

Quality 7: Cleanliness

Cleanliness is about respecting the importance of order and organization. When you don`t know where your money is, when you have no filing system for your important documents, when you dive into your pocketbook to pull out crumpled bills, when your car looks like a garbage can, when your closets are filled with junk and clutter -- you cannot possibly be a wealthy woman. You need to clean up your act -- quite literally -- to bring true wealth into your life.

Quality 8: Beauty

Beauty is what you create when you incorporate the other seven qualities into your life. When you take the steps to have harmony, balance, courage, generosity, happiness, wisdom, cleanliness, and beauty in your life, you will exude confidence in who you are. And there is nothing more beautiful than a confident woman. Remember, when you are confident you feel secure, and when you feel secure you have no fear. And when you have no fear, you have the courage to say what you think and feel in a calm and wise way. And when you are calm, you make wise decisions with your money.

Read the article in its entirerty.

Obama Wouldn't Be First Black President

I am a Barack Obama supporter - have been since I first met him and his dynamic wife Michelle at a fundraising dinner during his run for his Illinois Senate seat. He is a man that immediately pulls you into his circle and makes you feel as if he's known you forever WHILE at the same time being just unattainable enough to let you know that he knows he's a star in the making. He smiled and nodded in an open invitation to get on the Obama band wagon or get left behind.

Disclaimer: I by no means thought that I was special; that all of his graciousness was reserved just for me. My Daddy was a politician. So I know that Barack comes by it honestly. It's in the political blood, that easy charm that sends voters to the polls in throngs. Some are better at it than others say for instance Bill Clinton - it's the ability to charm a nation.

That first meeting was in 2004 and since then I have interviewed Barack countless times and hosted more lunches and teas with Michelle than I care to admit but it has only served to reinforce what I knew from the very beginning - that Barack and Michelle Obama have the first solid chance of being America's first African American First Family.

Or am I wrong about that?

Aysha Hussain certainly presents some very interesting arguments in an article that has been circulating furiously across the Internet superhighway for the past few days.

I am submitting it because if nothing else ... it certainly provides food for thought.

© DiversityInc 2007 ® All rights reserved. No article on this site can be reproduced by any means, print, electronic or any other, without prior written permission of the publisher.

You've seen the headlines: "Are Americans Ready for a Black President?" "Is Obama Black Enough?" "Obama: America's First Black President?"

Ever since the nation first met Illinois Sen. Barack Obama in 2004, his race has been called into question more times than Michael Jackson's. Obama is clearly a black man, but is this really a breakthrough? Some blacks say Obama isn't "black enough," which seems ironic because for many blacks, former President Bill Clinton was "black enough." In 2001, Clinton was honored as the nation's "first black president" at the Congressional Black Caucus (CBC) Annual Awards Dinner in Washington, D.C.

Were there other "black" presidents? Some historians have reason to believe people don't really understand the genealogy of past U.S. Presidents. Research shows at least five U.S. presidents had black ancestors and Thomas Jefferson, the nation's third president, was considered the first black president, according to historian Leroy Vaughn, author of Black People and Their Place in World History.

Vaughn's research shows Jefferson was not the only former black U.S. president. Who were the others? Andrew Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, Warren Harding and Calvin Coolidge. But why was this unknown? How were they elected president? All five of these presidents never acknowledged their black ancestry.

Jefferson, who served two terms between 1801 and 1809, was described as the "son of a half-breed Indian squaw and a Virginia mulatto father," as stated in Vaughn's findings. Jefferson also was said to have destroyed all documentation attached to his mother, even going to extremes to seize letters written by his mother to other people.

President Andrew Jackson, the nation's seventh president, was in office between 1829 and 1837. Vaughn cites an article written in The Virginia Magazine of History that Jackson was the son of an Irish woman who married a black man. The magazine also stated that Jackson's oldest brother had been sold as a slave.

Lincoln, the nation's 16th president, served between 1861 and 1865. Lincoln was said to have been the illegitimate son of an African man, according to Leroy's findings. Lincoln had very dark skin and coarse hair and his mother allegedly came from an Ethiopian tribe. His heritage fueled so much controversy that Lincoln was nicknamed "Abraham Africanus the First" by his opponents.

President Warren Harding, the 29th president, in office between 1921 and 1923, apparently never denied his ancestry. According to Vaughn, William Chancellor, a professor of economics and politics at Wooster College in Ohio, wrote a book on the Harding family genealogy. Evidently, Harding had black ancestors between both sets of parents. Chancellor also said that Harding attended Iberia College, a school founded to educate fugitive slaves.

Coolidge, the nation's 30th president, served between 1923 and 1929 and supposedly was proud of his heritage. He claimed his mother was dark because of mixed Indian ancestry. Coolidge's mother's maiden name was "Moor" and in Europe the name "Moor" was given to all blacks just as "Negro" was used in America. It later was concluded that Coolidge was part black.

The only difference between Obama and these former presidents is that none of their family histories were fully acknowledged by others. Even though Obama is half-white, he strongly resembles his Kenyan father. And not only is Obama open about his ancestry, most people acknowledge him as a black man, which is why people will identify Obama, if elected, as the first black president of the United States.

Thoughts anyone?

The Truth May Sting At Times ... But Lies ALWAYS Hurt!

(Disclaimer: this began as a light hearted vent that ends with a sincere point. Bear with me. Sometimes the road to truth isn't always straight.)

Earlier this week an associate told me a lie. It was a stupid, unnecessary lie but a lie nonetheless. Didn't call her on it 'cause it would have probably have led to more stupid and unnecessary lies. So all I did was remind myself why this chick was JUST an associate and not a friend and file this away in the "take what that child says with a grain of salt" folder and keep it moving.

Now, I fully realize that EVERYBODY including myself lies about something or another. It DOESN'T HAVE to be one of an earth shattering nature but possible one of ommission, of the white variety or for some other well-meaning reason ...like you don't want to tell your girlfriend her butt really is too wide to still wear those pants. Still a lie though, right?

But I hadn't had my coffee yet, someone had parked in my usual space and I couldn't find my favorite pen (and it was only 3 in the morning)so I was already irritated PLUS this past year I have had first hand knowledge of how hurtful lies and deception can be.

Then comes this idiot .....

The headline:

A MAN LIES ABOUT BEING KIDNAPPED AS AN EXCUSE FOR CRASHING HIS WIFE'S CAR ON THE WAY TO A CASINO

I immediately thought about the Runaway Bride and how much I detest how the fake victims are ALWAYS white folks who ALWAYS blame the kidnappings on imaginary people of color.

The list would be too long to list but here are some links.

Susan Smith ... remember her? Even Oprah went down to South Carolina to help catch the Negro she said had killed her kids. Then there was Charles Stuart. He killed his wife while driving through a housing project and blamed it on a black man damn near inciting a race riot in Boston. Lifetime made a movie about it.

But this latest headline is different because, this time, the person BEHIND the fake story is Hispanic!!! But, yeah, he still blamed the kidnapping on Hispanic guys.

He's 35-year-old Jorge Alberto Mejia of San Rafael, California (--in the Bay Area). Earlier this week, he was driving his wife's new 2007 Ford Focus to the River Rock Casino in Geyserville, California when he accidentally CRASHED.

He knew his wife would freak out on him for crashing her new car, so he came up with THIS: Two men carjacked him, and told him to drive to an isolated area in Santa Rosa, California.

But Jorge had the presence of mind to slam the car into a wall, stunning the kidnappers and allowing him to escape.

Jorge described the fake kidnappers in INTRICATE detail: One was a clean-shaven Latino, about 25 years old and 5-foot-10, who spoke Spanish, was wearing a gray hooded Nike sweatshirt and had several tattoos on his left arm.

The other was a thin, clean-shaven Latino about 18 years old and 5-foot-4, wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt with a multicolored design on the back, and with two teardrop tattoos under his left eye.

He filed a police report but after a very minimal amount of work, the cops realized Jorge was lying, and they confronted him. He admitted to making the whole thing up; and now, he could be charged for making a false report. AND his wife is even more pissed than if he had just come home and said he had an accident.

Go figure.

But the article nagged at me for the rest of the day. And a little light flickered inside.

Those who tell little and supposedly well meaning lies are some of the biggest forms of ENERGY SAPPERS. Yep. Energy Sappers - that's what Oprah calls the people who can suck the life out of you in seconds.

Because when people lie to you ... on some level you have to participate in the lie and often make the lie your own and carry it around like a 200 pound monkey on your back.

And when you're the one telling the lie ... the weight of the monkey doubles.

Then the lies are no longer little or well-meaning.

Iyanla Vanzant wrote in an article "that the biggest way to block your blessings is to be untruthful with yourself and others" while Maya Angelou encourages us to "take a day to heal from the lies you've told yourself and the ones that have been told to you".

There comes a time when we have to pause to sort through the lies that we are telling ourselves ...

"I'm so stupid."
"I'm broke."
"I don't know how."
"I can't take it anymore."
"I'm ugly."

AND the lies that others have told us ...

"You're no good."
"You can't do it."
"You'll never make it."
"How do you think you're gonna do that."

Teacher Charles Hanel wrote that "the only way to eradicate a lie is with the truth. We must not only speak the truth, we must think in truth. The truth is, we start from a place where success is born, in the mind's eye of the Most High. The truth is that no one has ever made a true deal with the Master and lost."

Whoever said that the truth hurts forgot to add that lies hurt more.

Now, how do we find our truth?

That's PART TWO. :)

LOVE ... American Style

Is it that time already? Judging by the amount of red roses and boxes of chocolate that seem to be everywhere you turn, it's Valentines day! Yes, the day to celebrate true love by wining, dining and spending a truckload on Hallmark cards has snuck up on me again. Dammit.

So while I am negotiating a sea of V-Day slackers at Walgreens because I had an irresistible urge for some Lipton Ice Tea, I took note of a few things. Not only were people buying cards .... they were buying Condoms.

(Slap your forehead one time just like I did)

I mean not only is this the one day where you are supposed to show the one that you love just how much they really mean to you, it is also one of the very, very few days where you should pretty much be GUARANTEED relations.

(The only others are your birthday, anniversary and first night of a vacation that costs at least $4,000)

So. . . we Americans are taking advantage.

(I hope you're laughing with me at this point!)

Yes, I took a very liberal turn when I decided to write this post. AND the fact that it is National Condom Week had absolutely NOTHING to do with it.

But it did help me uncover a few VERY interesting facts.

According to the makers of LifeStyles condoms, today, across the country, we'll burn through 87 condoms PER SECOND.

That's a HECK of a lot of relations.

Here's how they figured it out. 27% of women, 18 and over, say they're going to be having relations today and 20% of those will use a condoms.

Then, they assume that for every five women, there are six condoms used. . . 'cause someone has relations twice. . . or the first condom is useless because the guy messes up in the dark and does something like accidentally putting it on inside-out.

Based on those numbers, Americans will use 7,516,800 total condoms today. . . or an average of 87 per second.

That also works out to 313,200 condoms per hour or 5,220 condoms per minute.

And, if you unrolled all of those condoms all the way and laid them end to end, they'd stretch more than 830 miles or just a little less than the distance you'd have to drive if, say, you were a psychotic astronaut traveling from Houston to Orlando wearing a diaper. (that's for you K.O)

Combine that with the fact that 188 MILLION is the magic number of Valentine cards that will be exchanged today. . . and that's not even counting the packaged kids' cards ....

my next venture .....

The C & C Factory ....

Yep, you got it ....

Cards and Condoms baby!

Cards and Condoms!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Disclaimer:

I am really not Anti-Valentine's Day! I just recognize the importance of showing those you love (including yourself) how much you care every single day. So Valentine's Day for me isn't that big of a deal. Even better is when you find someone who feels the exact same way. But that vase full of a dozen roses sure does look pretty sitting there on my nightstand.

Chocolate, anyone?

Is NOTHING sacred anymore?

Today I make my case for mandating that persons looking to be parents be required to take classes, pass an exam and be licensed before having children.

First let me say this: I'm all about schools starting to teach sex ed to kids when they're in fifth or sixth grade. . . in my opinion, starting that young will HELP them avoid making really bad decisions. But there's a BIG difference between sex ed and showing the kid a LIVE SEX SHOW.

And that's exactly what 36-year-old Rebecca Arnold of Woonsocket, Rhode Island, did. A few years back, she and her boyfriend, 33-year-old David Prata, repeatedly had sexual relations in front of her NINE-YEAR-OLD daughter.

Rebecca told investigators, quote, "We don't believe in hiding anything. We wanted to prepare her so she would know how."

Finally, in December of 2004, the girl's teacher heard her talking about the sex and called a child abuse hotline. They contacted the police, who arrested Rebecca and David for felony child neglect.

That's the charge because, according to the police, they, quote, "provided an environment that is lewd and depraved in a manner that makes their home unfit for the child to live in."

Ya think?

Anywho, they're set to go to trial next month; and surprise, surprise - they've entered a plea of NOT GUILTY.

The girl, now age 11, is living with her biological father in North Adams, Massachusetts.

Up next, we have 27-year-old Lori Yeager of Sheboygan, Wisconsin, was out with her kids ages 10 and two when she decided to head over to a tanning salon.

Nothing wrong with that. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do, right?

Here is where it goes awry. According to Lieutenant Jeff Johnston of the Sheboygan police, quote, "She was going on vacation and apparently felt that the tanning was a priority."

Apparently they have absolutely NOBODY available to baby-sit in the city of Sheboygan!

Cause Lori went into the tanning salon and left the kids in the car. The temperature outside: 12 degrees. The wind chill index: Minus-two.

A couple of people walking by saw the kids and called the cops. By the time they got there, the kids had been in the car, unattended, without the heat on, for 20 minutes.

They were dressed warmly, but had goose bumps from the cold. Fortunately, they didn't need medical attention.

But if I had my way ..... their mama would.

Lori was arrested and charged with two counts of child neglect; apparently, while the cops were helping her kids, their father got there and started yelling at Lori for leaving them in the car like that. Can we say ..... DYS-FUN-CTIONAL!

And finally, a study that comes from Australia, so we're not sure how much it applies to the women over here but if our women are even HALF as bad as the Australians, then we're STILL in SERIOUS trouble.

According to the Australian National Drug and Alcohol Research Center, almost HALF of women say that after they get pregnant, they keep DRINKING ALCOHOL. And they keep on doing it through the breastfeeding period, too.

--20% of expectant mothers say they keep smoking cigarettes DAILY.

--5% say they keep smoking REEFER during their pregnancies . . . and 2% keep doing HARDER drugs.

Believe it or not, the teen mothers and young mothers aren't the problem the biggest perpetrators are the older women who SHOULD know better.

Higher-educated, older, high-income women are most likely to drink during their pregnancies; the researchers say that's probably because those women have spent DECADES getting into a pattern of drinking, so it's harder for them to stop.

In Australia, they're not quite as against pregnant women drinking as we are; there, the government recommends that pregnant women "only" put down seven drinks a week.

I mean what is REALLY going on? I know at least for me - being pregnant was the one time that I wanted to do EVERYTHING right because I realized that it was no longer about me - I had another life to nurture. That same sentiment continues now that I am a mother of two beautiful boys. To senslessly endanger the life of anyone - much less your offspring - baffles me. Damn, is NOTHING sacred anymore?

Would YOU?

I found this on one of the many websites I haunt:

THE AVERAGE WOMAN WOULD GIVE UP RELATIONS FOR 15 MONTHS FOR A CLOSET FULL OF BRAND NEW CLOTHES

(Blink and then read it again. I'll bold it to make it a little bit easier.)

THE AVERAGE WOMAN WOULD GIVE UP RELATIONS FOR 15 MONTHS FOR A CLOSET FULL OF BRAND NEW CLOTHES

Now this is a BIG reality check for all you guys out there who just KNOW you're SEXUAL GODS and just KNOW that any woman who's had the privilege of experiencing your coital gifts would trade her first-born child for one more throwdown with you.

According to this study the truth of the matter is that women would sell you down the river for a closet full of new Prada dresses and a few pairs of Manolo Blahniks.

The new poll conducted by Unilever (they own Ben and Jerry's, Lever 2000, Slim-Fast and like 40 other brands) of about 1,000 women in 10 American cities, on average, women say they'd go ABSTINENT for 15 months in exchange for a closet full of new clothes.

15 months? Now that is a LONG chance to abstain by choice!

It gets even better. 2% of women would abstain for THREE YEARS if it meant that new closet of clothes.

61% say it'd be worse to lose their favorite piece of clothing than give up sex for a month.

And this could be a reason why: HALF of the women say that their favorite clothes are MORE RELIABLE than MEN in giving them confidence and making them feel sexy.

OH MY! Makes me wonder where they found the women that were surveyed and better yet ... where those women found the men that they are dating and having relations with.

Now I'm not saying that being abstinent for 15 months is a bad thing. I've done it and it can be a very focusing experience. BUT to make that choice just to get a new pair of shoes. I think not.

I'm not going to touch the part about women making that choice because men are unreliable and less than supportive. Once again - that goes back to the type of man that you're picking.

While we're talking about this. . . a completely different survey, by Travelodge, backed it up. . . finding that most women say, at bedtime, they'd rather read, watch TV or just quickly fall asleep than be intimate with their man.

Ok my fellow bloggers - what's your take on this?

(CBS 4 - Miami / Sky News)

NATIONAL BLACK HIV/AIDS AWARENESS DAY TODAY

Today marks the 7th annual National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. This year's theme is "Get Educated! Get Tested! Get Involved! Get Treated!” With this year's emphasis on action, those working on HIV/AIDS issues say they hope to create a dialogue both within the African American community and between local communities to address the crisis.

Today also brought the release of important new information from the U.S. Centers of Disease Control and Prevention on the tremendous impact of HIV on African Americans. Among the startling findings being presented today:

In the United States today, blacks face a higher rate of HIV diagnosis than any other racial/ethnic group - more than 8 times the diagnosis rate of whites.

HIV diagnoses fell significantly among both black men and women from 2001 to 2004, with the sharpest declines occurring among injection drug users.

Heterosexual black men and women also experienced declines in HIV diagnoses from 2001 to 2004, though black gay and bisexual men - the group most heavily impacted by HIV - experienced continued stability in diagnoses.

Heterosexual black men and women also experienced declines in HIV diagnoses from 2001 to 2004, though black gay and bisexual men - the group most heavily impacted by HIV - experienced continued stability in diagnoses.

Many experts feel the black community is at the brink of a crisis that could severely and permanently damage the black family in America. That was the message by Wilbert C. Jordan, MD, MPH recognized as the nation's leading expert and researcher on HIV/AIDS among African-Americans, at the daylong health summit: "Disparities in Health: Community Solutions". The primary culprit according to Jordan is denial among black men who have sex with men. Being bi-sexual or gay is not an option, so black men are having sex with other men "under the radar" and then they go home and infect their female partners by having unprotected sex. Read more about this troubling trend in this article provided by Black News Online.

I do want to make a point that is the 7th annual National Black HIV/AIDS AWARENESS Day not the 7th annual National Black HIV/AIDS ACCUSATION Day. It is time to educate ourselves instead of standing in judgement of someone’s lifestyle. We need to educate our children to the dangers of unprotected sex. But more than that, we need to gain some self respect as a people. We are worthy of living healthy, prosperous lives. Until we realize that, we will be content to accept whatever comes our way … even if it kills us.

Check these websites for infomation and education. The life you save, may be yours!

Link One!
Link Two!
Link Three!

PS ......

Yes, I read the story that KO so adeptly pulled in during his brief but poignant comment. (smile)

Here's the story: Astronaut to be charged with attempted murder!

Brief Summary: A NASA astronaut, married with three children, is accused of trying to kidnap a romantic rival for a space shuttle pilot’s affections. Apparently, 43 year old Lisa Marie Nowak drove 900 miles, donned a disguise and was armed with a BB gun and pepper spray when she confronted a woman she believed was a competitor for the affections of Navy Cmdr. William Oefelein, an unmarried fellow astronaut.

Nowak will remain in jail because authorities planned to charge her with attempted first-degree murder, an official said Tuesday.

And you thought the ghetto had drama!

Truly Stranger Than Fiction

Everyday for work – I read a TON of useless information. In ADDITION to the five papers that I peruse every morning I also kill approximately three trees worth of paper otherwise known as Show Prep in order to sound half way knowledgeable about what’s going on in the world. This morning, I ran across three articles that I just had to share.

First up, did you know there’s an island in African where women decide whom they’re going to marry AND men can’t say no!

Yep! You read right. This nugget of information comes from the Seattle Times. The name of the island is Orango, and it’s about 40 miles off the coast of Guinea-Bissau in western Africa, with a population around 2,000. And apparently it’s the ONLY place in the world that has this particular custom.

There are three simple rules:

On Orango, WOMEN decide who they're going to marry.
Men are NOT ALLOWED to propose.
And if a woman decides to marry you, you CAN'T turn her down.

For example: One day, a guy will just be sitting there (maybe playing video games), when he hears a knock on the door of his hut. He opens it, and sees a woman standing there with a STEAMING PLATE OF FISH – and that’s not a sexual metaphor, by the way.

And that's her marriage proposal, no words, no getting down on a knee - just a plate of fish. The guy accepts by eating the fish. If he refuses, it brings huge shame on his family.

They actually tracked down 65-year-old Jose Nananghe who lives on Orango and he reported that when he was 14, his future wife approached him with her plate of fish. He says, quote, "I had no feelings for her. Then when I ate the meal, it was like lightning. I only wanted her."

As for women getting all the power in spouse selection, he says it makes sense. . . quote, "Love comes first into the heart of the woman. Once it's in the woman, only then can it jump to the man. The choice of a woman is much more stable."

Catfish anyone?

Next up from Reuters in the U.K. and even I say this one SOUNDS too ridiculous to be true. . . but it comes from a good source, so I've got no reason NOT to believe it. Apparently, Hari's beauty salon in London is offering a new treatment that, they say, gives hair the, quote, "ultimate shine."

During the treatment, they spend 45 minutes massaging BULL SPERMATOZOA into your hair. And, when it's all done, they charge you $110.

Hari Salem, who owns the salon, says he's tried hundreds of products, from avocado to truffle oil, to try to find the one that provides a perfect shine. . . but nothing's worked like bull seed. He gets it from bulls on a farm in Cheshire, in northwest England.

Quote, "I've been searching for an organic product with a lot of protein because that's what hair lacks when it's dry. And this really works. It leaves your hair looking wonderfully soft and thick. The product is refrigerated before use so it doesn't smell."

And that ain’t no bull!

And finally from the Worst Case Scenario Handbook in the Work section, dating a person who works in your same office can be exciting, no doubt. . . but it can also mess up your career and sometimes having one can even get you FIRED. So, if you’ve had your eye on the hottie co-worker who’s cubicle is across the way from yours – suck down these seven tips to help you keep your office relationship a secret.

7. RESIST PHYSICAL CONTACT AT THE OFFICE. You're dating someone. . . and it's natural for you to want to get up on them all the time. . . but DON'T. Kissing, holding hands or even casual touching can get some people curious. Even if you think you're alone with them someplace in the office keep your hands to yourself. Save it until you're at home where you can be SURE that you're alone with them.

6. SEND GIFTS TO THEIR HOUSE. It may be a special occasion like Valentine's Day or their birthday but don't give flowers, candy, clothing or any other personal items to them at work.

5. DON'T USE COMPANY E-MAIL TO SEND PERSONAL NOTES. We've all heard about how The Man is constantly surveying our e-mails at work. . . so if you send some sexy message to whomever you're dating at the office. . . your boss may see it. Don't risk it.

4. AVOID LONG OR EXCESSIVE LUNCH DATES. It's natural for colleagues to go out and eat the occasional lunch together. But when you do it repeatedly with the SAME person it may attract some notice. Try to keep the same lunch routine you had BEFORE you started dating your coworker.

3. AVOID GOING TO AND LEAVING WORK TOGETHER. Unless you're carpooling with other coworkers try to avoid showing up to work and leaving together.

2. USE DISCRETION. Your company is bound to have parties and get-togethers. Try as much as you can to avoid openly displaying affection, dancing with each other OR drinking excessively which can bring all these things to the surface.

And the number one tip on how to keep your office relationship a secret is ….. (DRUM ROLL PLEASE!

1. DON'T TELL YOUR COLLEAGUES. This is KEY. The less people know, the better.

Ya THINK?!?!?!?!?!

Happy Wednesday!